The Poison Tour Diary via Metal Sludge

Date June 22, 2000 / 538 reads / No comments yet

Dear Sludge Diary,
Well, I got bored in Columbus the other day and changed my hair color again. It's got quite a bit of Blonde. This marks the first time in history that all four Poison members have blonde hair. Yippie! Are you impressed yet? Hair metal's finest at your service.
Hey, we did this Rock 'N' Bowl thing in KS last night. I wasn't looking forward to it because I suck at bowling, but it was actually quite the gas. There was over 2000 people there to cheer us on. It was quite awesome. I usually get gifts at things like this and that is always worth looking forward to, but I got somethin' pretty fuckin' weird. There were these punk chicks from a band called "Manscreamhole" there givin me the devil sign, so of course I knew they'd become my friends soon enough. They gave me a plastic fetus with Alice Cooper make-up on. How cool is that? We hung out after for a while, bitched about having no wine and the fact that the Sex Pistols movie "The filth and the fury" wasn't playing in town yet. (Random thought here... I think Paul Cook from the Sex Pistols inspired more people to play drums than most of those stuck up, holier than thou muso assholes out there.) I shall sport one of their "Manscreamhole" shirts tonight. I don't care if they suck or not, they have the right attitude. The Rock 98.9 put the thing on and it benifitted Mercy Childrens hospital. Good thing. We even donated a grand besides all that.
It finally looks like we are going to have a nice sunny day. The black cloud has finally passed... I think.
And lastly, here we are just slightly into the second week of the tour and the shananigans begin. Ya see, CC and Bobby are sober now and sometimes bored. Well, our little CC has gone over the edge. Apparently, (I didn't actually see the act but did see the aftermath and we lost our bus driver because of it) CC took some young hot thing into the back of the bus two days ago and got her to agree to a rock n roll DeVille enema. He filled her ass with a fizzy water solution telling her that this was good for her. Then, in front of two road crew guys he goes, "Shazzaam, C.C. says shit blizzard!" CC then squeezed the the young lady's stomach which produced a flurry of brown fizzy froth that spewed all over the back lounge. He laughed his ass off. Sick motherfucker! Evedently, it was in responce to a question to him about how he lost all the weight.
Well, that's it for now. Thanks for reading and if your are going or have gone to one of the shows, thanks for supporting the tour and Rock 'N' Roll. I love you!
Poison fans rule!
Fuck you if ya hate us! Go weld something and burn your fuckin' hand off!

The punkyglitterdrummin'fellar,
Rikki Rockett
(Yeah, I know my spelling sucks.)