Dear Dr. Rockett

Date September 16, 2000 / 192 reads / No comments yet

Dear Rockett,
Hows it goin? I guess i'm supposed to ask you some retarded question, but instead i'd like to ask something a bit more serious and important. (at least it is to me.) Rikki, i hate life man. All i wanna do is play music. I sing and scream in a band called D - 9. You may have met my lead guitarist (Tony Marcus) once or twice. He used to play with Stephen Pearcy in Vicious Delite. (i think this was around the time Poison shared a rehearsal space with Pearcy? I know its when Brett was with Pam, but I could be wrong as hell.)
Anyway, as i write this e-mail, i just got in from breaking my ass doing demolition. i have been working since fuckin 10pm yesterday, and it is now 12pm the next day. I don't wanna breathe dust, get all cut + bruised up,
and bust walls the rest of my life!
Our band gets regular radio airplay on all the college stations around here (New Jersey) as well as this show called "The Buzz" on WXRK (K-rock, New York). We have had quite a few labels contact us, indies as well as
majors have asked us for press kits and such, then when we send them out and try to follow up, we get little or no response. We have a new EP coming out sometime in October, and we plan to have it marketed by a pretty good company - Skateboard Marketing - www.skateboardmarketing.com I guess the question i am trying to ask is, do you have any advice as to how to handle these business matters better this time around? Have we done wrong by representing ourselves? Should we get someone to represent us? Or maybe its just a matter of persistence? Could you shed any light on the subject? Any advice would be appreciated. I'm sure this prolly won't make
the Metal - Sludge board cause serious e-mails like this usually don't please sludgeaholics, but if you could just get back to me, that would be cool.
Thank a lot!
Vocalist D - 9

Dear Scott, (Vocalist D - 9)
Fuck the people bitching on the Metal-Sludge board. If they could sing, they wouldn't be bashing every fucking thing. Everyone can be a star critic when they are invisible behind a computer keyboard.
In the movie "Fame" the professor on the first day said to the class, "You are here because you are talented and have a gift... and you are going to suffer for it."
Well, it's true. Performing artists suffer for their art. That's life. Treat your band like a crack military team. Everyone has a job that they are good at. Forge ahead and rise above. Work as team or forget it. Let someone more qualified to do a job, do it. There is too fuckin' much competion to have any egos stand in the way of your progress. Everyone has a different path to getting where they want to go. There is no one way. In Aerosmith's tune "Movin' out", Tyler says, "Talk to yourself and you'll hear what ya wanna know". In your heart, dude, you know the answer. Yes, get someone respectable in the biz to represent you if you can. It really helps. Ask the managers of other bands that are doing well to get involved. If no one will, maybe you aren't ready yet. Hone your shit and go at 'em again.
Promote the fuck out of yourself! But, make sure to deliver on the hype. Hype will only get people in the door to see you once at best, the rest is delivery. Kick their ass the first time. No one gives a fuck if the bassplayer broke up with his chick right before the show and the trash guy is fucking her now. No one cares if you recorded your shit on a budget. If it sux, it sux. They only hear what they hear. Don't expect people to read into a shitty tape telling them 'if you had the time and money it would be better." People don't care. They'll just listen to something that does sound good. On the other hand, a good song is a good song. It will come out on tape properly even if the sonics are poor. I mean, John Lennon's "Imagine" is great even on an 8-track cassette, ya know.
I haven't gone to the Skateboard Marketing site yet, but why a Skateboard related thing? Is that type of people your audience?
Yeah, persistence is everything. For instance, there are like 10,000 bands in L.A. county. Some organized, some not. (I know you are in Jersey, but I don't have the specs on N.Y. and Jersey) That is a hell of a lot of fuckin'
So, how do you get ahead? Stay with it and keep getting better. Get as many motherfuckers to your shows that you can. Power From The People! Even if you have to play for free sometimes. Just get exposed to as many people as you can. You can't get over-exposed at this level. (That comes later in the game.) Tons of people at your gigs says way more than anything else. Demand is a powerful, powerful thing.
Live, eat, sleep and breathe your fuckin' band. If you don't, the fuckers that do will beat you out. It isn't good enough to be good. You have to jam it down everyone's throat 24-7 / 365.
Don't waste your time with anyone that isn't "for you'. If they ain't for you, they are against you. Not the enemy, just a waste of time. Take good advice and let the other shit pass on by. It's tuff to figure it out sometimes. But let your heart tell you.
Here is some hardcore advice that will piss some people off. If your chick isn't helping you, get rid of her. Chicks fuck up bands all day long if they aren't into helping you. This is not a normal life here! She gets it, or she doesn't. If a chick isn't making you cum, teaching you something or helping your band, move on. That sounds really fucked, I know, but otherwise, she'll get in the way. Trust me. You don't have to be this way forever, but until you have what you want, she'll drain your ass of precious energy and your band will suffer for it. You don't have to be a dick about it. Just avoid chicks that want you to spend your money on them, take you away from band duties and shit like that.
I'm not rippin' on women here. If you are a woman in the music biz and some dude is holding you down, fuck him off. Partners can really help, but more often than not, at the start anyway, they drain you. Do you really want someone to suffer with you? You evil fuck! That's what the rest of the band is for. Just refresh with a little recap of Spinal Tap. Or Yoko Ono if you dare.
Look at everyone in the same way. That is to say, "I'm gonna make you like my fuckin' band!" Embrace and consume! Make them realize what they are missin' then kick their asses full of rock!
That's the best I can do, bro. Old saying: "Nothing is more common than the unsuccessful, talented man." Don't let this happen to you!

Enjoy the ride. That's what it is about. There really isn't a means-to-an end in this biz. Love what you do.

Good luck,
Dr. Rockett

Dear Rockett,
I met this chick who's a model and she's totally cool. Lots of fun to be with. However, she goes to the bathroom quite a lot, I'm talking like longer than the typical chick would. My friends have also noticed that she rubs her nose a lot. Now she says that she's totally against drugs and she hates smoke. She does live in LA but isn't a party girl and isn't into the whole Hollywood scene. So knowing this limited information, do you think she's doing blow? I know it's not much to go on, but I was just curious of your opinion.

Dear Wonderboy,
Here's the options:
1. She has a cold and also "lays a lot of cable" to keep her svelte frame in proportion.
2. She is on the rag much of the time and her femine protection is failing and needs constant attention.
3. She is calling the guy she really wants from her cell phone in the bathroom and is crying 'cause he isn't home. Or...
4. She's doin' drugs.
My bet is that she is on the white stuff there Wonderboy. Tell tale signs:
She looks like she chews alot of gum.
Her eyes are kinda funny and glossy.
She doesn't eat very much.
Her clit gets erect but she has trouble coming.
She is always dry and sweats when it's not that hot.
> She does live in LA but isn't a party girl< Tons of coke users never go out. Coke makes some people paranoid and they don't wanna be around a bunch of people.
My advice? Continue to fuck her if you enjoy it. It'll come out eventually in the wash anyway, it always does. If you can't cope with it, stop seeing her. Or, you could be a hero and rescue her from drug abyss. But you can say goodbye to getting fucked for a while in that case. More advice: You do the driving. Blow heads have lead feet in a car.

Dr. Rockett