October 2, 2000 / 315 reads
Well, well, here we are with yet another Dear Dr. Rockett column. I'm sorry for taking so long, but I was on vacation in some exotic place that I can't pronounce or even type for that matter. (See snapshot above.)
I realized last night while I was watching Sex and the City, that I have so much in common with Sarah Jessica Parker's character, "Carrie Bradshaw". Well, at least in the sense that we are both columnists. So, I got to
thinking, why not take Sludge's Dr. Rockett to the tube watching world as a guest star in Sex and the City? I could maybe help to enhance the plot and inject it with some real world rock persona. Plus, I may get to fuck Sarah
Jessica Parker! Hell, Bon Jovi was on the damn show and he doesn't even have a column! So, wadda ya think? I urge you as fellow citizens, to write to HBO and insist that I get written into the story for an episode.
Possible plot: I figure Carrie Bradshaw can be surfing the web and come upon my column on Sludge and become intrigued and write to me. We finally meet and I can bond with her as a fellow columnist, then fuck her and she
can dump me for some odd quirk that I have (like Nurse Karen knocks on my apartment door drunk or somethin') and then she can move onto some Wall Street guy or some shit that they usually do. You like? O.K., so, let's
help get a petition together and send it to HBO and make me a star. It's only right, don't cha think? After all, so many people need our help.
O.K. onward...
Dear Dr. Rockett (that sounds good!)-
I need some help with my bi-sexual life. I am a 25 year old natural redhead who has had a couple of experiences with other women. It all started to please the boyfriend I was with to "spoil" him by seeing two
women together, but a man was always part of the deal. Well, the last couple of times that it happened, my best friend and I began getting more into each other than him. We really enjoy each other and have been alone together a few times since then. Anyway, I am finding that I love being with other women. I love the smell, taste, touch and feel of them. I want to start expanding my knowledge and broadening my horizons. The only woman that I have been with is my best friend and I want to start meeting other women to sleep with, but the problem is I am so shy. I mean how can you just walk up to another woman and say "I think you are beautiful, are you bi-sexual by chance?". I know I am attractive, so that isn't an issue. I can be extremely forward and go for what I want, but that is usually around men. I know that several women are bi-sexual and that many think about it but don't act on it. I love men too, and enjoy having threesomes with a woman and a man, but the problem is getting the 2nd woman to come in to be with me or with me and another man. I am very open minded and am willing to try anything once, but when it comes to this I get all choked up. So, any suggestions on how to know if a woman is into other women?
Thanks for your help.
Shy One
Even though, I, like many guys, love to see "chick on chick" escapades, I'm not a expert in lesbo love. (I'm not really an expert on anything, but excuse me for posin'.) So, for this particular letter, I employed the help of my fellow colleague, Nurse Karen as she is quite well versed on this subject. She'll take over on this particular letter while I go pound my pud.
-Dr. Rockett
Dear Shy One,
In the grand scheme of things, women and men aren't really all that different. I mean you say how can you just walk up to a woman and say "I think you are beautiful, are you bi-sexual by chance?", but on the same line of thought, you probably wouldn't just walk up to a guy and say "You are damn good looking, would you like to go home and fuck?". Most of the time if you are out and you see a guy that you think is hot, you flirt with him from afar first and if they flirt back you are in. Well, it is no different when it comes to women.
I say that even being shy, you have several different options:
1) Find a good lesbian bar in the town that you live in. The best sex that I have ever had in my life was with a beautiful woman that I met at a lesbian bar. That was when I was still a bit shy, it was great.
2) Strip clubs are a great place as long as you are willing to go home with the stripper and her boyfriend. You could ask a stripper just about anything without offending them.
3) You could always try the personals. I have never done this myself, but I do have a friend who just loves the yahoo personals.
4) Go out with your best friend to any of the popular clubs and just be as nasty as you can with each other on the dance floor. Remember you attract more bees with honey, so if there are any women that are interested, they will let you know.
5) Send your best friend out on the prowl. After all, she knows you well enough to know what kind of women you would like.
6) If you are in Florida, look me up. I'm not shy!!!
Of course, I am no expert, but I do love women. I was even shy once upon a time and was still able to pick up women. Now, I love having sex with other beautiful women so much that I don't want to miss out by being shy, but you will learn that after that one woman gets a hold of you and makes you feel better in bed than you ever have before.
- Nurse Karen with Dr. Rockett cheering in the background.
Dear Rikki--
I figured I'd ask you what to do because if I do become single again musicians are who I go out with. I just turned 35. (I look younger) I have been married for almost six years. I like to be happy and am pretty happy with who I am. My problem is my husband. We haven't had sex in nearly a year. This is REALLY hard for me. I have "toys" that I play with but there's nothing like the real thing. It's all about him. He's miserable ALL THE TIME. I try to suggest things for us to do together...even things he likes do do--bowling, science fiction movies...anything to get him motivated. All he wants to do is sit on the couch watch TV and sleep. I'm serious. He's sleeping NOW! I just started a new company to do music promotion and my other job is doing computer work for my brother-in-law's company. We own a house in the cool part of New Orleans. We have 2 dogs that HE wanted but ignores them also. He says he likes wallowing in his depression and takes no interest in me at all. I like music and love to catch the latest blues band in town. I'm not a big party person but I do like my music and will go see a band no matter what. I'm too scared to leave him because of the security of paying the bills and all but if it wasn't for that I'd have to ask him to leave. I loved him once, Rikki, and if he would just pay a little attention to me and OUR life it could be okay. But my life is going on. I know I have tried to make it work. I'm not one of those wives that get jealous or make him call me or have to be up his ass every minute. Do what ever you want! Just let me know that you aren't dead in a gutter somewhere and if you are let me know where to send the coroner. I'm sorry this is such a long letter but I hope you can tell me what I need to do. I'm really scared that HE'S going to make the decision and leave me with no thought at who's going to take care of the house note,
dogs and other obligations. HELP!
ROCK STAR
Dear Rock Star,
Is your hubby on drugs? I'm serious. What is he depressed about anyway?
This may sound silly, but it sounds like you really need a full blown marital counselor. However, let me ask you to ask yourself this... Say you have a car that you once loved but now it has a few problems. If everything was working just fine on the car, would you still really want the car or do you really want a new one? What does hubby want?
The reason some marriages fail is because people do change over time and their collective interests wane. Forget about the past for a second and imagine the future. Can you continue to develop fun things to do? Sex drives in relationships do wane, but they shouldn't disappear. Many times a person's first reaction is to go fuck someone else. This won't make you feel any better about your situation. It'll just make your pussy feel good. Not that that is bad. Anyway, fix the relationship or let it go first, then make your move. If he is unwilling to make an effort, you have answered you own question. Now figure out how to deal with the other parts of trying to live without him. You'll be fine either way. You seem very smart.
Damn, a year with no sex! You'll just have to wash the sheets when ya do get it, won't cha? Throw me a life preserver, I'm comin' in!!!
Dr. Rockett
"Sailing, takes me away..."
-Christopher Cross
Dr. Rockett,
I have a question and I was wondering if you could offer some advice. My partner and I have been together 3 years and we have recently opened up our relationship where it is a "play only together" type of thing. The
problem that arises is that we like different types of men. Well, I like the big, hairy, burly bear type of guys and he is not interested in that mostly. I am pretty liberal with who I will play with so that does not concern me. The problem arises when we do find someone to play with they are usually into me and not much into him, and he says he feels left out. We have talked about this and are trying to figure out a solution. Can you offer any help??
Thanks,
Cubby
Dear Cubby,
Can I offer any help?
No, not really.
Dr. Rockett
