Metal Sludge's Interview With POISON Security Guard BIG JOHN

Date September 13, 2000 / 1020 reads

Source: Metal Sludge

We thought it might be interesting to interview Poison's well known security guard Big John since he was frequently mentioned in Rikki's Tour Diary. We wanted to find out what was really going on backstage. So before the Poison tour ended, we sent Big John some questions and found out some shit.

1. Tell us about yourself.
BIG JOHN: From Cincinnati. Ohio. Currently residing in Las Vegas. Four years in the Marine Corps. Three years as a pro wrestler.

2. What other bands have you worked with?
Ratt, Cinderella occasionally, Stephan Pearcy's Nitronic. Bouncer at Annie's in Cinn., Ohio.

3. How tall are you, how much do you weigh, what's your shoe size and how big is your dick?
6'8", 270 pounds, 12.5, send Donna to my room for last question.

4. You wrestled in ECW as the Extremist. Why did you leave the wrestling business and what was your biggest match?
Neck injuries. Al Snow.

5. A lot of professional security guards and bouncers have some type of fight training. Other than wrestling, do you any other fight experience, like karate, kick boxing, shit like that.
Judo from the Corp. Plus multiple firearms training.

6. What does your typical day consist of?
9:00 a.m. Take a piss, Get bags to the dressing rooms. 9:45 a.m. Meet with in house security. 10:00 meet with production manager 11:00 Wake up the band. Do the house pass list. 1:00 - 4:00 Train with Bret and or/ Rikki, eat. 6:00 to 8:00 Recon the crowd. 9:00-9:30 set-up the stage for the show. 9:30 - 10:45 the show. 11:00 Deal with after show meet and greets. 12:00 Rikki there is someone who would like to say hi! 2:00 Leave.

7. What are you more worried about, a crazed fan getting into Poison's dressing room, or Bret & CC beating the shit out of each other?
The fans have been pretty cool. I actually worry about Rikki and Bret getting into a fight with some one. They are both kinda touchy about certain things sometimes. Rikki actually enjoys fighting, so I need to constantly watch him. Bret is diabetic and can go off just a little from time to time. Bobby is very controlled but I heard he used to be a handfull. C.C. just entertains everyone.

8. Who gets laid the most in the Poison camp, and how much pussy do you pull in?
I can't really answer that. They all have a ton of chicks around them. I can't say who does what because I'd like to keep this gig and I'm sworn to keep my mouth shut. Let's just say, none of them are hurtin' for attention from chicks. I've never seen this many girls around a band until last year when Ratt was with Poison. That's when I found out why everyone wanted on this tour. I don't really troll for chicks. They mostly seem to come up to me because they know I work for Poison. A few have grabbed me and shit, but I really don't want to get a bad rep, so I try and keep my cool.

9. Lets say a chick really wants to get backstage and meet (fuck) the band. What would be the best way for her to do that and what exactly does she have to look like? Any tips for the girls out there?
The ones who really want to get with the band know what to do. Nobody has to blow a roadie. That's old school bullshit. The biggest mistake I see chicks make is not being foward about their intentions. Wallygaggin about who they like in the band or bringing too many friends who depend on each other for rides and shit will fuck it up for them. There have been so many chicks who want to hang out and insist that some pain in the ass friend come along too. We don't live in a house, we live in a bus. There is only so much room. Most of these girls don't realize that we are in the town we are playing on off days, the day before the show and we always leave the night of the show for the next town that we are playing. The band has like two hours or so after the show to shower, meet and greet and party, depending on how far the bus run is that night. Not a ton of time. Not everyone is going to meet these guys. Sometimes some jerk will finagle their way back while a true fan doesn't get there. I hate to see that, but I can't be everywhere all the time. The truth is, a good looking chick saying they want to fuck is always a good bet.

10. Tell us some stories about some stalker fans you have had to deal with?
Well, everybody wants to kill Pearcy. Rikki has Nurse Karen. Bret has a few wack jobs too.

11. Does C.C. really jog every morning, or is he making that shit up?
Fuck yeah he does. Twice a day. Like 8 miles.

12. Some fans have said that you are very pushy and rude, especially during the meet & greets. How do you respond to such accusations?
They get what they give. If you are a dick, I'm a dick then too. I treat everyone with respect until they push my buttons.

13. Have you ever had to stop Fred Coury from going into Rikki's bag and stealing his Metal Sludge shirt?
No, just dealing with Fred whining about it.

14. What's the most annoying thing you have to deal with during a typical show?
Stage jumpers. But, that's typical at Poison shows. Drunk motherfuckers who think that since they bought a ticket that they should be able to party with the band. Chicks that know why they are backstage but wanna play innocent.

15. Have you had to beat anybody's ass on this tour?
Just twice. I didn't have to hit them. Just throw 'em around a bit.

16. Have you ever had the urge to smack Dana Strum around just for shits and giggles?
Only when he calls me homey. However, I do get the urge to smack just about everyone once in a while. I just don't.

17. How do you think you'd do in a no holds barred fight with the following. Would you win, lose or would it be a draw?
Mike Tyson = Lose
Baron Von Raschke = Win
Tank Abbott = Draw
George Foreman = Lose
The Undertaker = Too good a friend. I'd never fight him.
Peter Steele = He better fight for his career first.
Hoyce Gracie = Lose
Paul Gargano = I'd let him win.
Bruce Lee = What do you think?
Tommy Lee = I'd strangle him with his dick.
Ken Shamrock = Lose
Blue Meanie = Too good a friend. I'd never fight him.
Violent J = Don't know who he is.
Chris Jericho = Win
Rikki Rockett = Wouldn't fight him, but there are ways to get him. Starting with this, "Rikki there is some one who would like to say hi!"

18. What are your plans for after the Poison tour?
Jerk off to pictures of Gwen Stephanie. Update my Kendra Jade collection.

NOTE TO BIG JOHN: It's Gwen Stefani, but close enough.

19. Of all the celebrities you have meet, who was the biggest dick? Also, has Poison had any "rock stars" or "celebrities" backstage that got a little out of hand and you had to put them in line?
Sebitchen Bach.
As for Poison shows, Edwin McCain loves to get drunk but he has always been such a gentleman.

20. What percent of Rikki's Tour Diaries are full of shit?
A: 10 %
B: 30 %
C: 50 %
D: 75%
E: 100%

A. 10%, He changes names to protect the innocent.

21. Time for Metal Sludge's Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.

Paul E. Dangeroulsy = Hard man to work for, but a genius in giving people what they want.
Dana Strum = Seems cool. I really don't know him really.
Blas Elias = Very cool.
Don Dokken = Shitty jetskier
Fred Coury = True friend
Jeff Pilson = His girlfriend has nice tits.
Eric Brittingham = Cell phone
Bobby = Robbin' the cradle!
Bret = The real Sludgevivour!
CC = Thank God he's alive.
Rikki = Victim.